Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Holiday Season...

I have just returned from a lovely, if not family filled Thanksgiving. It was nice to be home and spend some time with the family (especially the doggies...I miss them a lot). Lots of food, lots of family, and nearly not enough time for everything else I wanted to do/ should have done (i.e. shopping, or doing homework). The holiday season is in full swing, and I'm excited. Last year we went to Japan for Christmas to visit my brother. Though the trip was famazing and an experience I would never trade for anything, I missed the holiday spirit. There was none to be found anywhere in Japan. And when my family is really big into Christmas, I just felt a little shafted. This year, we're going all out. we're putting up all of our Christmas decorations and having lots of food and inviting over lots of people. I'm excited!


Since I've been back I've had this weird feeling. Its almost physical. It's as if I feel afraid, yet embarrassed. My chest feels heavy and I feel like sleeping. It is the weirdest thing ever, but its not the first time I feel this way. I don't know if it's stress, or the weariness of having been "home" for a few days only to return "home". Its like homesickness, but not. I'm not sure what it is or why I feel it. I wonder if it has anything to do with my impending end to my undergraduate career (5 more days and I'm done with class, 11 more days and I'm done with school), the uncertainty of my actually career, and the thought of not being able to be in Miami during it all.

I really do miss home (Miami), and yet I sometimes forget that it is home because I feel so at home here (Pittsburgh). I have this feeling of cultural identity splitting me into two distinct people--Miami me and Pittsburgh me--a more Hispanic version of myself and a more American version myself. I used to be a mix, but now I feel split. Now I sound like a crazy person. I'll just stop.


In other news. I did watch the new Karate Kid movie with Jackie Chan and Will Smith's kid. It wasn't bad at all. It was very entertaining. But something about it just didn't give me the emotional kick that the other one did. The original is such a classic with great lines such as wax on wax off and sweep the leg. Also, the crane kick seems much more believable than the strange (yet awesome and unrealistic) cobra thing. Plus, the romance between Jaden Smith and a 12 year old Chinese girl was kind of weird.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Operation Finish Line

The finish line is in sight. I can feel the end drawing near. How does this make me feel? Excited, nervous, scared, nostalgic.

My last semester as a college student is drawing to a close. In less than a month I will be home, done with finals and projects and homework. I won't be back in the spring. I won't have to sign up for anymore classes. No more all-nighters, no more essays and lab reports. The prospect of this is exciting--I won't have to do any more work on weekends or stay up late doing a stupid report! And yet, the idea of not coming back and not doing homework is frightening. I have been groomed for this. For the past 16 years I have been programmed to do well in school--its my best skill. Getting A's is my greatest skill. I've mastered how to do it. And now, it is going to be useless. What will I do when I enter the real world? When will that happen?

The idea of getting a full time job and working isn't too bad, but the problem is finding the job first. As of right now I have one job offer from my summer internship. I've applied to 25 different positions, have had 4 interviews, and have heard back from none of them. This is making me nervous. My job offer date is drawing near, and I need to make a decision: to I accept and automatically reject any future offerings or do I reject and hope for something better to come along (but if nothing else comes along, I would have screwed the pooch big time).

I see the finish line, I can feel it. But I suddenly want to slow down and take in the view before me. I need more time to figure out my next move.

Monday, November 1, 2010


This past weekend I celebrated Halloween like a good college student. I haven't socialized/gone out that much in a long time. Good times were had, awesome costumes were made.

Friday started off with a little party at Laura's. It was nice to see Laura. I never get to see her as often as I want to. For the past three years she has always been a few steps away from me, but now she is much further away. There were lots of nice people there. A pretty relaxing party. Afterward I changed costumes and headed to Tema and Kyle's house for a party. The crowd was much different--lots of loud, intoxicated college students. It was still a good time. Plus, Kyle made us Butterbeer which was delicious! I need to get that recipe....

Saturday was a much more epic night. Started off with a few drinks at Tema's, then off to dance and have some drinks with my other superheroes. I was Rogue from X-Men while Kevin was Cyclopse, Amanda was Phoenix, and some other archies who were various heroes such as Ms. Marvel, Captain America, Deadpool, etc. The good thing about that party was that I knew a lot of people there, and yet I managed to meet some new people, such as exchange student Yannick. He was actually at Laura's house the night before. He's a really sweet guy. Hopefully we'll hang out again.

The other party I went to I didn't know many people there. Or rather, the very few I knew all left me for a while. This gave me a chance to meet new people. It was refreshing to talk to someone new; I feel like I haven't done it in a long time--not since sophomore or freshmen year! I don't remember all the names of the people I met, but that's okay. Hopefully one day I'll see them and they will remember me. 

Its always a successful night when I go to bed at 5 AM and wake up before noon without a hangover.